October 13, 2015:
She takes away the experience.
Ask her to help choose a coffee maker for guests: she buys a coffee maker. It's lovely, she choses nicely. But the object carries different emotional associations than it could have. Forever it's the gift she chose for me, rather than the experience we shared in choosing one together. I cared about the experience. The coffee maker is merely a thing.
She loves surprises. I see it as control. She makes the decision, unilaterally, autonomously, without sharing, without allowing another's input. A decision she monopolizes. All control.
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