Guest, leaning over the front-desk counter, an elderly New Yorker which makes his language all the more affected: "Who be thee?"
"Forsooth!," quoth the desk clerk. "I be Mark! I speak modern English."
Later the same guest comes in to ask, "You don't have a kid who can help us, do you?"
Desk clerk, to his wife: "He doesn't mean a baby sheep, does he?"