October 5, 2011:
It's not "manic depression" because there are no highs.
You bounce down and back so quickly there's no hiding it. But "back" means "neutral", no euphoria, no joy. It's been a year since you felt that unburdened joy of simply being alive.
Keep working it. Listen to happy music, surround yourself with bright colors, put your skin under sunlight, be sociable. One day at a time.