December 11, 2017:

The claustrophobia thing.

Some ebullient friend sucks the air from the room and all my nerve endings shout, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

There've been times when I've done exactly that. From the party to my house. From the poetry reading to my apartment. From the car to anywhere not the car. Hurting feelings, losing friends.

Where this comes from I can't say. Only that it's real and there are times I have to fight it with every reserve of strength, like tonight for one, when after absenting myself for a time I returned long enough to share a movie and half a dinner.