February 7, 2019:

The truth is, I really didn't want the third.

I really only sought her out to please the second.

I thought, The girls'll have a happy experience together. But I wasn't invested, and ultimately I wasn't straightforward with the one I recruited to be third.

So that when the second evaporated but the third wanted to continue as just she and me, I had to say no, and that hurt her, and that was fucked up of me.

The whole situation was fucked up of me.