March 15, 2019:
She truly was adorable. I had such a crush.
Not fleeting. Years. Three years of elementary school: she was my not-entirely-secret boo.
She knew. She liked me but in that program we were all just friends. I don't think anyone even held hands.
There's a class component to what goodie-goods they all were. In my neighborhood there was Truth or Dare and lots of furtive feelies. In the gifted program they were all too — what? Shy? Immature?
Habituated, certainly, all those goody-good kids, to doing what they were told to do, by parents and teachers and governments and all the other authorities they knew not to question.
And, of course, what to not do. Like Truth or Dare or furtive feelies or weed or fistfights. Those were for the rough kids at the not-privileged schools.