Why do I babble when I write to her?
I think, in part, because I feel there are no further chances. You'd better say it all now because there's no next letter. So that they run on and on like some version of War and Peace, The Sequel.
But also because she's the one person I've felt I could speak to freely. With every other friendship I've felt the relationship was based on someone wanting something from me, especially that I was required to be entertaining.
This is completely unfair. My friends have proven their generosity time and again. But there it is.
Small steps, Ellie. Small steps.