February 4, 2019:

Maturity's a real thing, too.

She's not evil, she's distracted by shiny. She's not manipulative, she's confused. She's not stupid, she's inexperienced.

Where "inexperienced" means: she hasn't yet felt the feelings I feel, so that she can't yet personally know why her decisions cause me pain.

It's all ok. Morally, I mean. I can't live with it, and that's terribly sad, especially after beginning with so much enthusiasm. But it's nobody's fault and at the end of the day, or the end of the week, or the end of the decade or whatever the fuck it's the end of, it simply hasn't worked.