August 3, 2003:

The Professor entered New Camp X-Ray looking quizzical. He stood facing Mary Ann through imaginary bars, saying, "You are not behaving rationally, Mary Ann. I do not understand your purpose."

"So?," she challenged him, arms crossed, foot tapping.

"You clearly fail to comprehend the basic macroeconomic consequences of your position. A simple input-output analysis would reveal — "

"My grandfather was an old country lawyer," she interrupted. "He used to call that 'the baffle 'em with bullshit technique'."

The Professor was nonplussed. He was unused to being interrupted, but more importantly, he found Mary Ann's disrespectful challenge impertinent.

"Among the villagers you're a minority," pointed out the Professor.

"Tough titty," replied Mary Ann.

The Professor fumed. Gathering himself together, he countered with what he believed to be the ultimate expert word on the subject.

"You're a special interest," he insisted.

Mary Ann rolled her eyes.

"Union! Union! Union!," cried Mary Ann and Gilligan together. The Professor fled to the village, dignity bruised, muttering about ingratitude and the great unwashed.