October 18, 2019:
Old Man of the Mountain, except, not that one, and you don't feel old although your doctor says you are.
At the door the hearth is guarded by plush Cheetah and guitars, a dining room where ordinary families would have meals but you've stacked bookcases, the only contiguous wall space where they'll fit.
Romany lifestyle, peripatetic, where all these rooms of books and guitars have to be packed and moved.
Why? What goal? Where success is measured how?
October 17, 2019:
I like her but she's loud, and I need to be invisible in public.
She has affection for me but her attention is scattered. She wants to see herself through me, so that, when she doesn't, she loses interest.
In theory her exhibitionism should mate well with my voyeurism. But she wants to include me in her exhibitionism and I'm too private.
She's insensitive to my feelings, as I've frequently been toward hers. I think, some of her insensitivity is consciously intended as response.
October 16, 2019:
The People attack unarmed and are shot down. They use their numbers: rush the dam, accept the casualties, reminding me of the uprising against Somoza. The franchise is cynical: meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Yet it succeeds in saying things it perhaps never intended.
I watch 'cos in the era of Trump I need to witness victims fighting back. Where their left-hand Boyscout salute means more in their world than it could in mine.
- October 15, 2019: Shining Blonde on the Hill, the girl who loved to wrestle and lose.
- October 14, 2019: I was told by third parties it was the best undergraduate fiction he'd ever read.
- October 13, 2019: Does she know I love her?
- October 12, 2019: Fast company.
- October 11, 2019: I'm aware these geographical dreams are dreams.
- October 10, 2019: Brownstones, four or five stories...
- October 9, 2019: One irony being: it was in reality not safe at all.
- October 8, 2019: It was disquieting when we moved.
- October 7, 2019: The corridor curves rightward between patio seating...
- October 6, 2019: I sometimes fantasize of renting the apartment where we lived.
- October 5, 2019: A year later she told me the invasion had been a mistake.
- October 4, 2019: The University is buildings around a crowded concrete square.
- October 3, 2019: Brilliant, charming, more "cute" than beautiful...
- October 2, 2019: Those were the wrong people.
- October 1, 2019: Brothers at The Presidio.
- September 30, 2019: Merlot and guitars.
- September 29, 2019: "Male cats will kill their kittens," she told me earnestly.
- September 28, 2019: Salt, sugar, fat, caffeine.
- September 27, 2019: Little landlord lawyer from a little long ago town.
- September 26, 2019: Beautiful golden Cynthia, the minister's daughter...
- September 25, 2019: Borrowed my mother's insurance card without her knowledge.
- September 24, 2019: She's no longer the person she was.
- September 23, 2019: She grew up to be her father.
- September 22, 2019: Bear tattoo: California patriotism behind freckled white shoulder.
- September 21, 2019: All afternoon activists confront you to correct your rumored reaction to the film.
- September 20, 2019: Rose Garden of the Philosophers
- September 19, 2019: I was so proud of my technical knowledge.
- September 18, 2019: "Rustlers — He's about to get one!"
- September 17, 2019: Beauty at the fan wall.
- September 16, 2019: I slept with a hair trigger:
- September 15, 2019: Arrogance, effusiveness, joyfulness, flirtation.
- September 14, 2019: I suppose it's not up to me to forgive him.
- September 13, 2019: The dynamic is exacerbated by depression.
- September 12, 2019: The trembling girl, oiled and scented.
- September 11, 2019: Yes boss. Maybe I should look more closely.
- September 10, 2019: Yes boss. Maybe I should look more closely.
- September 9, 2019: I'm not female.
- September 8, 2019: Of all the things that could never have been guessed...
- September 7, 2019: Humor that hurts.
- September 6, 2019: "But... She has a rifle..."
- September 5, 2019: False claim of compassion while she ridicules others...
- September 4, 2019: You're at the peak of your mature abilities when your body begins to strip its gears.
- September 3, 2019: False opinions from the expert who ain't.
- September 2, 2019: Stillness equals quiet.
- September 1, 2019: Eager child at Christmas.