September 11, 2022:

Caffeine, bro.

Where the goals are: clarity of thought, improved daily stamina, heightened productivity.

But the reality is: self-medication, in the absence of Adderall.

September 10, 2022:

Where all of this, every note and chord, mirrors the exact mode in which my mother lived her own life, before mine and alongside.

September 9, 2022:

Yet in the same breath Trotsky also wrote:

"Life is beautiful. Let future generations cleans it of all that is evil, and enjoy it to the fullest."

That commitment saved me, once. Although it took a war to push me into activity. Without something major it's all couches and books and notes for what's never achieved.

Stupid life. Stupid, pointless, failed, wasted life.