Mark's Pages

August 31, 2003:

Call me Ishmael.

Or, call me Stan.

Those are the two things I like to be called. Ishmael, or Stan. Or, call me Syngent Polevaulter. There are three things I like to be called. Or Loretta. There are four things I like to be called.

I'll start again.

Call me Ishamel. (What about "Biggles"?) O yes all right all right, call me Ishmael, or Biggles, or Loretta, or Syngent Polevaulter, or Stan. It really doesn't matter.

(What about "Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- närnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shänedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm"?)

Yes, that's fine too. (Are we starting again?) Hello. Among the many things I enjoy being called are, in no particular order, Ishmael, Biggles, Loretta, Syngent Polevaulter, Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- närnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shänedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm, and Stan. And Rumpletweezer.

Call me Rumpletweezer.

—If Moby Dick had been written by Monty Python.