Mark's Pages

December 7, 2003:

Salmon, mink, music, alcohol. Light, joy, celebration. Accents of an ancient tongue, and modern ones from far corners of the world.

Community. While the man of honor is raised overhead seated on a chair, the guests dance in circles around him, hands clasped each to the others, three rings of them, the center ring dancing in the opposite direction from the others so that the effect of the whole is like the rippling motion of fish in innumerable schools. "We are all together here," says their dance. "And we are proud of you."

Respect for children. How the father listens to his little daughter, bending down to give her his ear and his undivided attention, where parents from our culture would ignore her, speaking only to the adults, or worse, speaking about the children as though they weren't there listening.

Continuity. Four generations. While individuals come and go through death or divorce the families go on, like rivers with many tributaries, always seeking the sea.

Perseverance. Great-grandmother has a number tattooed on her wrist.

There's nothing like this in either of our lives. Our families are like civil wars, fought over empty wells in dry deserts. How sad and how foolish that those in our culture who speak most loudly about traditional family values despise these good people with all the force of blind prejudice.