May 11, 2007:

Panic disorder, agoraphobia, separation anxiety, codependency. The sky is falling, but the King is dead, and there's no-one else to tell.

You have your little techniques. Sunlight, exercise, and proper nutrition are the most effective, but also the most difficult to achieve when it's fully kicked-off. In the short run it's so much more compelling to eat cake, in the dark, largely in bed. Where the obvious Catch-22 is that to do well things you must first be well.

Bright colors, cheerful music, sociability. All of these activities help, but, it's a struggle to do them and, at its worst, there's no energy for struggle.

So that you're always in danger. Of falling into that black hole that has no escape, only darkness and the infinity of gravity.