October 9, 2007:
Such high hopes, moving into the previous house. Music, life, accomplishment: that the long, painful wait would finally end.
You move into the new house with no similar illusions. Life is all struggle, all day, all night, punctuated by fleeting seconds of peace, fragile and passing in the moment of a moment.
There is no blame in this for her. She has no control, and after she blacks out she's not even there. There really is no blame at all. Only oneself, for handling it so poorly.