Mark Phillips' Pages: Workbook: 8/20/08: In blackouts she weeps bitterly...

Jacob Lawrence, "The Party," 1935 — Jacob Lawrence, *The Party* (1935)

August 20, 2008:

In blackouts she weeps bitterly, saying, "All I've ever wanted is for someone to say to me, No matter what happens, I will always be there for you."

Part of her disappointment in me is that I never said that to her.

Instead I said, You must be sober first, then we can have a future.

I felt it was important for there to be some kind of incentive. And I needed my own guarantee.

More importantly, I didn't and still don't see the difference between saying, No matter what happens, I will always be there for you, and saying, You have my permission to drink.

This was unacceptable to her. I understand why. The alternative was unacceptable to me. I think she understands why.

She has her new fiancé now, who says to her exactly what she wants.

Will he really be there for her?