December 15, 2008:
Unpleasant phone call. Immediate dislike. She's rude, inattentive, smug.
I try to steer the conversation to some topic that's important to me: she shines it off with a flip comment. Carries on side conversations: her daughter's in the room, and someone else. Watches the TV with one eye. It's not clear why she calls if she doesn't want to talk.
I tell her, "Well, I'll let you go now." She seems shocked. I hang up with relief and do something interesting instead.
Email a few days later: how much she enjoyed the conversation, is looking forward to meeting me when she comes to town.
That isn't going to happen. The question to wrestle with is: what balance to strike between true feelings and politeness?, where true feelings will be hurtful, while politeness will be ineffective.