October 12, 2009:
A year in your room.
Reading, reading, reading, reading, reading.
Dostoyevsky, Salinger, and where they lead: Kierkegaard, Kafka, The Arabian Nights, Joseph Campbell, Rilke, Gogol, Lawrence, Frazier, Eliade, Jung, Wolfe, Proust. No claim of understanding. Primitive accumulation, the crudest outline of a map of the universe.
Depression, profound. Worsened by isolation, sexual frustration, sense of rejection, dissatisfaction with life's options as presented at that point. In a small apartment with a parental unit profoundly disinterested in any vision you may or may not have possessed for yourself.