March 21, 2015:
She's free while I wait.
There's something childlike in her, a naive faith that personal freedom triumphs, where a better word for "naive" would properly be "commitment-phobic". A trait she acknowledges.
I did this once. Long ago, in good faith, the first time I was ever in love. Waited patiently for a freedom-loving woman, that is a commitment-phobic college girl, to discover through experience who and what I was, what my value to her could be, and why she should give up her false freedom to finally in the end make a lasting family with me. It was charming of me, and loyal, and a disaster for us both. Breaking off was the most difficult thing I've done in life so far.
The freedom she wants is straightforward: to make arbitrary choices excluding me, to not consider my feelings, to label my needs "needy" in order to dismiss them as she chooses. And me, as she chooses.