January 23, 2018:

There's a grad student I liked especially well.

Brilliant, buxom, busy. Two dates a month: swankass dinner plus night in a hotel. The dinners were great, the nights were greater. She was sweet and kind and I alienated her by being preoccupied.

It was always hectic to get there. A long ways away. I believed the logistical stress would be worthwhile, because I liked her so much. It really wasn't.

I'd arrive stressed and later realize that in the rush to be on time I'd left the house without everything needed, for example condoms. The nights were still lovely but they were constrained by my disorganization. I think, if she hadn't let it go I would eventually have had to.

Instead she curved, and that's probably appropriate.

A year later I think of her frequently. She was patient and very kind.