February 19, 2018:
That relationship was seminal in part because it matured me in a single great leap.
I'd not had adults in my life who were capable of guiding me into adulthood. Nor were compelling role models in any way.
My mother was inward, uncommunicative, depressive, disinterested. She was a damaged child, a survivor of abuse which left her immature and unsociable. She was unable to teach me adulthood skills she lacked herself.
My father was wound up and predatory. I feel palpable relief to have grown up outside his influence. The few times he parachuted into my life were stressful. I loved him but was okay with it when I realized he'd disappeared.
The adults at school were disinterested. And far too narrowly conventional to intrigue me with their experiences.
My teachers were the college students I hung with more and more frequently as my high school career degenerated. Above all I learned from that one brilliant, beautiful, generous, one-year-older young woman who shared her sophistication with me, her insight, her sensitivity, her sexuality. She opened the door to adulthood. There was no other in my world capable of that.