June 29, 2018:
She's beautiful, but you're not attracted to her.
There's something so guarded in her reserve. Some hint of mistrust and desire for distance, so that you not only keep your physical effusiveness in check but also police your spirit. You're friendly, gregarious, joking. But you're watching her watch you, with uncertainty. Her uncertainty, now yours too.
In the stores middle-aged saleswomen stare stupidly at your jokes. They're just not down for wordplay, or for the logical inversions you enjoy bantering with. Your friend though is laughing so hard she shakes. She has to turn her back so that the slow-witted saleswomen don't take offense. That's excellent! There's contact between you after all.
You share pizza, lemon-coconut cake, blueberry chocolate chip ice cream. Sun's out, families are together, crowds are friendly, hills and sky are very California. You should do this again soon.