January 10, 2019:

A quiet evening. When there should have been companionship, intoxication, warmth, laughter, and sex.

There should have been a warm safe night under shared sheets. Happiness, togetherness: a ritual of joyful alliance against the night.

Instead there's quiet.

Where the big house echoes with loneliness, the sounds of joy are ghosts in memory.

So that you hurl yourself like a missile into the online venues where you can find conversation, flirtation, the semblance of connection.

And you seethe with anger for days thereafter.