February 7, 2019:
The truth is, I really didn't want the third.
I really only sought her out to please the second.
I thought, The girls'll have a happy experience together. But I wasn't invested, and ultimately I wasn't straightforward with the one I recruited to be third.
So that when the second evaporated but the third wanted to continue as just she and me, I had to say no, and that hurt her, and that was fucked up of me.
The whole situation was fucked up of me.