March 7, 2019:

She was amazing. The best of the all-time best: soft and passionate and extraordinarily skilled.

For me, that is. Because at that moment I was all she'd yet had, so that she learned her rhythms and her sweet to-do list from the selfish prick who benefited from them. That'll be me.

Except, I wasn't selfish, I was generous and genuine, and I loved her for years with passion and compassion and empathy.

So that her eventual degeneration into ordinariness under the hands of future lovers was both painful and vaguely insulting.