March 7, 2019:
She was amazing. The best of the all-time best: soft and passionate and extraordinarily skilled.
For me, that is. Because at that moment I was all she'd yet had, so that she learned her rhythms and her sweet to-do list from the selfish prick who benefited from them. That'll be me.
Except, I wasn't selfish, I was generous and genuine, and I loved her for years with passion and compassion and empathy.
So that her eventual degeneration into ordinariness under the hands of future lovers was both painful and vaguely insulting.