May 12, 2019:

It was a "date", but an unsatisfactory one. Rushed, uncomfortable. A lot of talking around the core conflict: her life is chaos, she doesn't want to be reliable and couldn't be if she did want to.

She takes responsibility for a broken family. Making her the adult, making her parents the children. In a context where one of the parents is clearly unstable.

She overextends her commitments. She demands superhuman exertion from herself, but she's mortal and something has to give.

Inevitably that something will be me. In the grand list of her priorities, I'm conspicuous by my absence, to the extent I'm conspicuous at all.