August 25, 2019:

In addition to bupropion I'm taking a shit-ton of supplements.

  • L-Arginine and Lycopene to ease my borderline blood pressure. It's working. After three months my systolic reading is down twenty points. Aside from that I can feel it. There's less pressure in my posture when I'm leaning back to read on the couch, or right now typing on a laptop. I don't feel as though I need to jump up to force a weight off my chest.
  • Collagen peptides for mobility. That's working, too. In just a couple of weeks the stiffness in both knees was gone; after a month I have full mobility in my arthritic neck for the first time in a decade.
  • Vitamin B complex for cognitive function. I've done that since my twenties. I don't eat red meat, so it's my source. Without it I feel myself thinking about thinking; with it mental focus is automatic. I've since learned that B-12 deficiency is associated with depression. Good then to check that box, too.
  • D3 for depression. Studies suggest a correlation between major depression and vitamin D deficiency. I try to get lots of sun, it makes me feel good. And I pretty much live on fortified milk. I don't know if the supplement makes a practical difference, but, WTF not.
  • Zinc for immune. I'm seldom physically ill anyway. I mean, like, a cold every two years and the flu every five. That's pretty much it. So again I dunno if the supplement helps or is irrelevant, but, yah, why the fuck not.
  • Cinnamon and red apple vinegar for blood sugar. With fasting glucose marginally high I want to knock that down. I've cut out sodas, candy, cake, cookies and sugary treats, and I've switched my gym emphasis from cardio to weights. I've never been particularly strong but I want to build enough muscle to metabolize that blood sugar properly, so that I can get back on the sodas asap. Mixed incentives there, yah. Where exercise is to enable sugary fizzy water. I'm good with it. I dunno if the supplements make a difference, I've only just begun with them. Unlikely to hurt anything.
  • A boatload of vitamin C. I feel noticeably more energetic when taking a large dose, usually about 3000 milligrams daily. Lately I use chewables to substitute for sweets. Hankering for sugar: eat a couple of blueberry vitamin Cs. That's 1000mg so I spread them around the day. You don't want so much that it fucks up your innards.
  • Fish oil for all the known goodness. Omega-3, HDL, triglycerides, blood pressure, eye health, and, again, yay, reducing symptoms of major depression.
  • Low-sugar protein shakes for... wait for it... protein. Since I eat very little meat — chicken once a week is pretty much it, and salmon when I'm out with friends. I like the SlimFast shakes: they're yummy and have just 1g of sugar. I'll usually have a couple of those a day.

All this shit... Well no kidding Sherlock, nutrition and depression and cognitive function and joint health are all correlated. Can I get an amen? Amen.

I feel better. Most of that is bupropion and therapy, a lot is sunlight and the gym. I'd estimate that all this other shit combined accounts for maybe 5% of my recovery. But that's a lot. Depression like football is a game of yards. I made that up just now but you know what I mean. Little improvements, little fixes: step-by-step toward a new level of emotional health and with it mental acuity.

That's my report this Sunday a.m. I'm gonna go for a run, then wash my sheets and take out the garbage. Symbolic actions, in my world. I'm happy to accomplish them, and I'm proud of myself, too.