November 15, 2019:

It makes sense she'd haunt his dreams.

She's dead, he misses her, he feels terribly guilty.

Yet he'd have predicted the dreams would be more realistic. Real times in their lives, real locations, so that these times with her would feel like reunions.

Instead they're in unknown houses, strange rooms, her sometimes grouchy as expected, other times invested in lives she never lived, for instance as a young student learning French from audio tapes. Frequently the rooms feel mysterious. What is this place? Other times they're perfectly comfortable yet he feels something is lost, that there should be more.

They seldom communicate. He's usually busy. There's something he wants, something he's looking for, perhaps it's the lost object he knows is missing. Perhaps it's the absent connection between them.

He's sad they last so little.