May 10, 2020:

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

She'd informed me quite bluntly her intention was to ghost at graduation. So that in hindsight I feel our situation is like Harold and Maude, where Maude forewarns Harold three different times of her 80th birthday resolution. With ages somewhat but not quite reversed.

But I'd become dependent. She listened, she communicated well, and in her way she was helpful. Not only for her really very brilliant services as confidante, but perhaps more concretely by steering me out of harm's way.

Still, she lied. Her name, her major, her network of informants. She was false, and good at it.

I knew, of course. But it seemed a small price. Where the positives she brought much outweighed her peculiar little quirks.