June 12, 2020:
Vampirism. Drain the emotional energy from those around you, then move on. Leaving a trail of exhausted, empty people behind.
But, the exhaustion of depression. The despair, the panic. Theirs second, yours first. I'm not going to be like this, I'm not going to be like this... So that you grasp at whatever life preservers come along, even when those are other lives.
Are these rationalizations?
You can understand how it could happen. But these are not forgivable crimes.
Years later a different kind of addict said to me, rationalizing an entirely different kind of vampirism, "I have the right to survive." The thing is: no you really don't. Not if by "survive" you mean: selfishly compromise the survival of others. That isn't a right, it's a rape. I mean that simile seriously.