February 21, 2021:
We passed a traffic accident on the road.
Smashed cars, blinking police and fire lights, EMTs.
She prayed for the people.
She prayed not only that the people who were injured were not injured severely, but as they were living through this experience they would not be afraid.
I loved that she did that.
There was that side of her, when she was sober, which was capable of great compassion. My dilemma was not knowing which of her many sides was the more real. So that today I echo that prayer of hers when I pass accidents, a sincere gesture I learned from her. While also praying that as she stumbles through her own experience of life, in her injured, dysfunctional, abusive way, she learns to be unafraid enough to confront her addiction with clear eyes open.