October 25, 2021:
Clear as anything she said, "Women and men can't be friends." And she stuck to it, although I didn't believe her.
And so with that little mantra of gratuitous sexism I measure my ruin. Where I was too naive, or narcissistic, to imagine she meant it, and it would apply to me.
After 40 years I miss her so much. With our lives each made small by that one sexist stupidity. Small: containers holding less laughter, less joy, less love than they should have. Less adventure, less fun, less mystery. Less of everything.