April 27, 2022:
There were never any happy possibilities.
She was too damaged. Too uncommunicative, too rude, too incapable of relationship. And too disinterested.
I was well-meaning but naive, and our years of distance had left me without the necessary knowledge of her. My goal was to get to know her better, but that's the catch-22. What I learned was that knowing her was impossible; and if I'd known that beforehand I'd never have made the gesture.