July 14, 2022:
Too many goals. Too many projects, too many talents, too many possibilities. Where even simple bite-sized ambitions balloon into epics, and now you're for example studying the entire history of western Materialism just to be correct.
Something has to be dropped. There has to be some sort of reasonable discipline. As life winds down and sands run out, to where there's no longer room for even bite-sized ambitions.
Good luck with any of it. ADHD plus OCD plus total confusion. You're lucky to complete even this.