August 11, 2022:
There was a moment when we could have connected.
"I've become an old lady!" she said, stifling a sob. Stifling, I think, because she saw on my face that I was unsympathetic.
What was I thinking in that moment? Defensiveness, from too many rejected overtures. Surprise which knocked me off balance. Sarcasm, as, What did you think was going to happen?
That was something like twenty years ago. Today I understand not only her feeling of lost youth but also that the moment came both too late and to early. Too late because it followed so many failures. Too early because I wasn't yet capable of empathy.