July 26, 2023:
I've wondered for fifteen years if she didn't choose to allow it to happen.
She felt the heart attack begin. She knew what it was — she'd had one twenty years earlier. Instead of dialing 911 to save herself she got undressed, climbed calmly into bed, pulled up the covers, and waited.
But — no.
She was afraid of life. Afraid of every breath she took. But, she was more afraid of death. Too terrified even to drive her car.
The key thing, though — the sole absolutely non-gainsayable — is her little nineteen-year-old kitty, Gabby. She would never do that to Gabby. Leave her alone in an apartment with the corpse of her caregiver.
Never in a million years.