Mark's Pages

May 13, 2005:

"Stockholm Syndrome".

It's important to understand the components of Stockholm Syndrome as they relate to abusive and controlling relationships. Once the syndrome is understood, it's easier to understand why victims support, love, and even defend their abusers and controllers.

The term seems to be most commonly applied to circumstances in which physical abuse is present. Yet the issue isn't physical abuse per se but rather the exercise of control through some mechanism of intimidation. Mechanisms can be emotional as well as physical. In either scenario it's a form of victimization, often revolving around a dynamic of reward-and-punishment, conditioning the recipient to submit to and even identify with the control of the abuser.

Every syndrome has symptoms or behaviors and Stockholm Syndrome is no exception. While a clear-cut list has not been established due to varying opinions by researchers and experts, several of these features will be present:

• Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller
• Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release
• Support of the abuser's reasons and behaviors
• Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim
• Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser
• Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment

Dr. Joseph Carver, Ph.D., "Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser"

Tell me that's not what it was.