April 9, 2020:

"And when it happens, it's com-plete-ly nach-rul." Explained the effete boyclown of his maturbatory interludes, proudly.

One day he had an episode with a neighbor who insisted on calling him "swine". Brandishing a kitchen knife, the police were called. In hindsight he was lucky not to be shot forty times, a fate that did befall someone I knew who brandished a kitchen knife ten years later. He explained to the officers, "You of all people must understand how unacceptable it is to be called 'swine'". I wasn't there, but I imagine they saw his point.

He read Andre Breton, espoused Modernism and Anarchism, and was utterly unserious. Much later in life he was diabetic, overweight, alcoholic, and still stiffed me for the check. "I won't insult you by offering to pay," he said, in exactly the same tone as his teenage speech regarding the naturalness of masturbation.

See what I did there?